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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

58 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Spotted on TikTok:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Breaking via Facebook:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Breaking via Telegram:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Home » Funny Dark Quotes

83 Funny dark quotes

Funny dark quotes 💀😂 are like a mischievous wink from the shadows, offering a laugh when you least expect it. Perfect for those who appreciate humor with a twist, these quotes dance on the edge of the eerie and the hilarious. If your sense of humor leans toward the delightfully macabre, you’re in the right place. Prepare for chuckles with a side of darkness—because everyone needs a little shadow to appreciate the light! 🌑✨

New funny dark quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Commentary:
Spreading joy like it's confetti and the world is on a BBQ 🍿🔥😄
2 days ago
Share →: 80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Commentary:
Well, I guess this is the ultimate problem of future me! 🤔💀🤣
3 days ago
Share →: Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Commentary:
Red or white, as long as it's not radioactive! 🍷😅
3 days ago
Share →: When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to start practicing my bat skills, because daylight is getting way too expensive! 🦇💡😅
4 days ago
Share →: Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Commentary:
Just your typical Friday night plans, right? 🌕🔮🩸
6 days ago
Share →: If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Commentary:
Trying the classic "turn it off and on again" even in life-or-death scenarios! 😂🔌✨
7 days ago
Share →: Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Commentary:
That's one way to prove love doesn't hurt! 😂❤️🌀
1 week ago
Share →: If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Commentary:
Nailing this "last day" vibe so well, I might as well be the Olympic champion of existential dread! 🏆😅
1 week ago
Share →: Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Commentary:
When your playlist takes you from spa day to a full moon werewolf rave 🌕🎶🐺
1 week ago
Share →: I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Commentary:
No body heat issues when you're forever hot stuff! 🔥💀😎

For even more funny dark quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny dark quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

58 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Spotted on Telegram:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Spotted on X:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Spotted on Snapchat:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Just shared via TikTok:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Just shared via Reddit:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

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