66 Funny dark quotes

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  4 days ago

  Share →: When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to making things 'interesting,' I'm the Picasso of chaos! 🎨🤣💥"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

  Commentary:
  "Ready to dig up some fun and plant the seeds of innocence! 🕵️‍♂️🔍😂"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

  Commentary:
  "At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we're carpooling to the hot spot! 😈🔥 #HellMates"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My plan is to die young as late as possible.

  Commentary:
  "Forever young, but not a minute early! 🕒😎👴"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

  Commentary:
  "Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: “Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

  Commentary:
  Haha, now that's what I call a strong password! 💀🔒😂

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, so that's why Mondays feel like a glitch in the matrix! 😅🔧🚀"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

  Commentary:
  "Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"

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