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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Going viral on X:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Just landed via Slack:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Spotted on Threads:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Going viral on TikTok:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Seen just now on WeChat:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Seen just now on TikTok:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Just landed via Slack:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

7 days ago

dating, forever, honeymoon, humor, humor quote, lasts, love, marriage, partner, phase, pick, relationship, right, romance
If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

7 days ago

dating, dating show, device, entertainment, estimate, estimation, exaggeration, humor, medical, medical device sales, number, only, people, population, reality, reality TV, sales, satire, show, shows, states, TV, us, US population, work
Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

7 days ago

activity, app, back, dating, dating app, going, humor, new, shame, social, social activity, walk, walk of shame
Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

7 days ago

calling, dating, humor, love, rejection, relationship, sarcasm, situation, situationship, time, unrequited, unrequited love, want, whole
Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

7 days ago

activity, communication, couple, couples, couples therapy, dating, funny activity, humor, joke, know, looking, notice, relationship, relationship humor, someone, take, therapist, therapy, therapy joke
I told ChatGPT about us.

7 days ago

AI, ChatGPT, dating, humor, humor quote, i, relationship, technology, told, us
“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

7 days ago

date, dating, drainage, expectations, humor, optimism, optimistic, pool, relationships
I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

7 days ago

act, crazy, dating, hate, i, month, months, new, relationship, relationships, start
I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

7 days ago

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, health, hope, i, laid, mental, mental health, own, relationships, soon
Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

7 days ago

boyfriend, dating, doing, friendship, girls, humor, humor quote, Instagram, jealousy, media, never, relationship, social, social media, something, soon, stop, unfollow

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All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

For whom the doom scrolls!

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

69 shares on Facebook this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Going viral on Threads:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Just shared via Instagram:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Trending via WeChat:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Making waves on Slack:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Seen just now on Snapchat:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨