Funny quotes different

37 Funny different quotes

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Funny Quotes Feb 4, 2025

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025