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37 Funny different quotes

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

2 months ago

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

3 months ago

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

3 months ago

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

3 months ago

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

3 months ago

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

3 months ago

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

3 months ago

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

3 months ago

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

3 months ago

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

3 months ago

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

3 months ago

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

3 months ago

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

3 months ago

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

3 months ago

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

3 months ago

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

3 months ago

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

3 months ago

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

3 months ago

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

3 months ago

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

3 months ago