Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Mar 1, 2026

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Just shared via Discord:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Making waves on Telegram:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Broadcasted on X:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

26 Funny dress quotes

Funny dress quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your wardrobe 😂👗 Whether you’re dressing up for a party or just want to brighten your day, these witty sayings bring style and smiles together 🎉✨ Get ready to laugh out loud and strut your stuff with some seriously clever fashion vibes! 💃😄 #StyleWithASmile

New funny dress quotes 👇

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

4 weeks ago

admit, appearance, attraction, dating, dress, dude, fashion, fine, Funny, girl, girls, humor, medium, nice, style, super, ugly
Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

4 weeks ago

dress, girl, girls, happier, happiness, pocket, pockets, science
I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

4 weeks ago

clothing, dress, enough, exaggeration, fashion, humor, i, own, shopping, still, style, summer, summer dress, wardrobe
I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

4 weeks ago

acceptance, body, body image, confidence, dress, fat, humor, i, image, self, self-acceptance, summer, think, want, well
You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

4 weeks ago

costume, day, dress, dress up, helmet, humor, humorous, humorous quote, laundry, laundry day, playful, quirky, tell
This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

1 month ago

annoyance, clothes, code, daily, daily grind, dress, dress code, grind, humor, office, routine, stuff, work
They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

1 month ago

baby, comfortable, diaper, dress, humor, job, say, uncomfortable, want
My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

1 month ago

act, clothes, dress, dress up, ex, fetish, humor, idiot, own, relationship, where
When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

1 month ago

attraction, dating, desire, dress, fashion, humor, nice, taking, taking off, think, thrill
They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

1 month ago

around, aspiration, character, costume, darth, Darth Vader, dress, dressed, humor, i, job, parody, say, vader, walk, want

For even more funny dress quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dress quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

65 shares on X this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

58 shares on Discord this month:

The void screams into me.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Just landed via Snapchat:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Trending via Reddit:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Just landed via Threads:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

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