85 Funny drinking quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone found the ultimate life hack for more fridge space – by converting it into a beer cooler! 🍺🧊 Talk about multitasking at its finest! Cheers to maximizing efficiency with a side of brews!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

  Commentary:
  "Drinking through a straw is like snorkeling's evil twin – one brings you refreshment, the other brings you face-first into your drink! 🥤🤿 #StrawVsSnorkel"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

  Commentary:
  "If life gives you a hill to climb, just plop down in your chair with a nice cold Fanta 🍊 and let the hill come to you! Who needs mountain climbing when you've got a comfy seat and a fizzy drink? 😂 #ChillinNotClimbin"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'this will be the hangover to end all hangovers' declaration. 🍾💥 Let's see if this lesson actually sticks… or if it's just an excuse for more fun next weekend! 🤪🎉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

  Commentary:
  "Someone please create a 'Prime Time Intervention' plugin to save us from drunk shopping sprees on Amazon! 🛑🥴 #ShopSober #DontDrinkAndPrime"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the web developer is keen on expanding their search query optimization skills everywhere they go! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Meanwhile, the SEO expert is probably already eyeing up the bar's meta tags and keyword density for a potential improvement project. 🍻💻 Cheers to a night of optimizing and imbibing in equal measure! 🍹💻🚀

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

  Commentary:
  Wow, talk about a wild excuse for not replying! 😂 Next time, just blame it on bad signal or falling asleep. 🤷‍♂️ Hopefully, you didn't make any cloud friends up there! ☁️🦅

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  5 months ago

  Share →: That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

  Commentary:
  So long, civilized coffee cup! Hello, pot life! 😂☕️ Embrace the caffeine chaos with a touch of rebellion and a lot of refill convenience! 🤪🌟 #CoffeePotGoals

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's a new twist on the classic excuse! 🦌🔴 Who knew Rudolph's side hustle was causing traffic incidents? Just imagine the officer's confusion trying to write up that report! 😂 #UnlikelyExcuses

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, Dry January, the month where we voluntarily deprive ourselves of joy amidst the post-holiday blues 🍷😂 Why not add a sprinkle of masochism to the mix, right? Cheers to making life a tad more challenging for no apparent reason! 🎉 #DryJanuary #ThirstyForLaughs"

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