Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Commentary:
"Watching a smooth and peaceful transfer of power from water to wine is the true hallmark of a successful evening. 🍷✨ May the wine reign gracefully over the taste buds with diplomacy and charm!"
6 months ago
Share →: The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Commentary:
"Who needs an open mind when you can have an open bar? 🍹💡 Bottoms up for closed thoughts and open bottles! 🍻🧠 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the infamous plot by Big Text to exploit our tipsy tendencies and flood everyone's notifications! 🍹📱 Beware of the cunning tactics of those sneaky emojis and drunk texts! 😂📲 #TextsOnTheRocks"
6 months ago
Share →: If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Commentary:
Looks like karma caught up with your beer choices! 🍻🔮 Next time, make sure you only drink with pure intentions and a clear karmic slate. Cheers to good beer and better karma! 🍺✨ #KarmaBrews
6 months ago
Share →: No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Commentary:
"Sorry social media influencers, I trust my decisions to be more vine than online 🍷😄 #CheersToThat"
6 months ago
Share →: Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Commentary:
🍻 "I considered quitting drinking tonight, but then I thought about the poor pub owner's family relying on my contributions. Hey, who am I to deprive them of their livelihood? Cheers to generosity with a side of guilt!" 🤣 #DrinkResponsibly #SupportLocalBusiness
6 months ago
Share →: I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like someone's got their daily priorities sorted – coffee for the morning buzz, wine for the evening relaxation, and cheese for that delicious snack attack! 🍷☕️🧀 Looks like this person knows the key ingredients for a well-balanced *ahem* lifestyle!
6 months ago
Share →: It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Commentary:
"Remember, it's not called 'drinking alone' at work – it's just 'team-building' in progress! 🥂👔 #ProfessionalCheers"
6 months ago
Share →: You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Commentary:
"Feeling young is all fun and games until you give up caffeine and Ibuprofen! 🚫☕️💊 Just wait for that reality check to hit you like a ton of bricks…and possibly some back pain. 😅 #AgingGracefully"
6 months ago
Share →: Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Commentary:
"Who knew that feeling good could be such hard work? 🏋️‍♂️🥗💧 Maybe we should just stick to the couch, junk food, and soda for the sake of simplicity. But alas, where's the fun in that? 😂 #TheStruggleIsReal"