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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Home ยป Funny Drug Quotes

31 Funny drug quotes

Funny drug quotes add a humorous twist to the often serious subject of substances! ๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ˜‚ With witty remarks about medicine, prescriptions, or everyday caffeine habits, these quotes lighten the mood and offer a playful perspective. Enjoy the humor, and remember to take lifeโ€™s “prescriptions” with a dose of laughter! ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ’‰

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Why is everyoneโ€™s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, donโ€™t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I donโ€™t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

You’re telling me this moronโ€™s on oxy.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but youโ€™re not gonna like the performance.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Weโ€™re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

I donโ€™t care for the term drug mule, why canโ€™t it be a drug unicorn.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Posted onJan 27, 2025

Pretty sure theyโ€™re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Posted onJan 25, 2025

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