90 Funny early quotes

• If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

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  2 months ago

  advice, back, early, enough, everyone, hours, humor, knows, secret, sleep, wake, wake up

• I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

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  2 months ago

  afternoon, alcohol, beverage, coffee, day, decision, dilemma, early, half, humor, i, late, morning, procrastination, spend, time, too, wondering

• Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

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  2 months ago

  bit, conflict, early, guys, humor, i, irony, leave, me, mind, request, timing, today, war, workplace

• I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

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  2 months ago

  advice, communication, early, humor, i, irony, just, learning, outcome, professional, sarcasm, say, told, workplace

• I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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  2 months ago

  closed, early, eyes, good, humor, i, meeting, meetings, missing, morning, procrastination, skill, sleep

• If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

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  2 months ago

  early, flirting, forecast, humor, i, ID, joke, leak, man, pretty, pretty woman, weather, woman, women

• Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

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  2 months ago

  20s, advice, early, early 20’s, exactly, gap, generational, generational gap, giving, humor, late, late 20s, life, life stage, newborn, obsession, someone, stage, toddler

• Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

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  2 months ago

  again, airport, arrival, being, early, early arrival, flight, frustration, hours, humor, i, management, minutes, once, only, scam, security, take, time, time management, travel

• I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

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  2 months ago

  alarm, angry, bed, early, enough, extra, having, humor, i, lay, management, morning, morning routine, procrastination, routine, set, sure, time, time management, wake, wake up

• My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

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  2 months ago

  early, exercising, fitness, going, humor, husband, looking, need, new, new husband, relationship, shape, start, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up

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