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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,251

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Going viral on Facebook:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Trending via Instagram:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Making waves on Threads:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

15 Funny free time quotes

Funny free time quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of laughter to your downtime 😂🎉 Whether you’re chilling on the couch or procrastinating like a pro, these witty gems turn ordinary moments into comedy gold 🎭✨ Ready to giggle through your breaks and make free time feel even sweeter? Let’s dive into some playful wisdom that proves fun is the best way to relax! 😎🕒

New funny free time quotes 👇

For even more funny free time quotes, hit next 👇

All funny free time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

96 shares on Slack this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

24 shares on Discord this month:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Shared recently on Slack:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Live now on Discord:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

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