Wordgag ツ

Jan 23, 2025
Share →: This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Commentary:
🦗 "This summer's goal: channeling my inner cicada, emerging from hibernation with a bang! Who knew finding a mate could be as noisy as a cicada orchestra? 🎵🦗 #summergoals #readytosing" 🏡
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Commentary:
"Who needs a marathon when you can sprint in flip flops after that elusive ice cream truck? 🍦🏃‍♂️ The Summer Olympics just got a new event inspiration! #CatchMeIfYouCan"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's relationship is feeling the burn… 🔥🤣 Seems like "fun to be around" could use a little makeover in the truth department! Who knew Tinder could be the ultimate expose tool! 😂 #RelationshipDrama #TinderTales
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Commentary:
"Oh, looking to dip a toe into the world of mischief, are we? 👀 How about starting with some top-tier offenses like jaywalking without holding your buddy's hand, or speed-walking in a no-running zone? 😄 Remember, crime doesn't pay…unless it's in Monopoly money! 🎩💰 #LawlessLearner"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! We definitely need a Sunday that doesn't vanish in the blink of an eye! 🕰️☀️ Maybe we can call it "Sund-ayyyy" – a day so long, you might even have time for a second brunch! 🥞🍳🤣 #MakeSundaysGreatAgain
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Commentary:
"Who knew that adding a touch of 'succulence' to your office emails could be the key to spicing up your Monday meetings? 🌵💼 Keep those emails tasty and juicy with a dash of succulent humor! 😉"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Commentary:
🥚🍻 "When life gives you eggs and alcohol, just remember – a tipsy Easter Bunny creates an eggcellent mystery hunt! 🐰🔍 Who needs a map when you have a magical blend of chaos and celebration?" 😉
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Commentary:
"Love has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it! Who would've thought a singles night would lead to a partner-in-crime who was busy managing a whole squad at home? 🤣🏡💑 #UnexpectedLoveStories"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Commentary:
Oh, I can totally see the appeal of the Easter Bunny 🐰! Who needs a bearded old man spying on you as you sleep? 😂 Plus, giving candy is much more fun than getting coal! 🍬 #TeamEasterBunny
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Commentary:
Well, nothing says 'I love you' quite like rolling a strike with your heart, right? 🎳💍 Who needs a shiny diamond when you can have a custom bowling ball that perfectly matches your style and helps in knocking down those pins! Let the good times roll! 🎳😄 #RelationshipGoals