Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,983

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Live now on Facebook:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Going viral on Instagram:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Seen just now on Threads:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Just shared via X:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Going viral on Discord:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Shared recently on Threads:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on X:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Home » Funny Good Quotes » Page 3

377 Funny good quotes

More funny good quotes 👇

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

0

1 month ago

advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself
I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

0

1 month ago

boomer, Boomers, ellipsis, everything, feels, gap, generation, generation gap, good, humor, i, style, text, texting, texting style, understand, why
Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

0

1 month ago

activity, good, humor, i, insomnia, internet, media, miss, night, online, online activity, post, posts, procrastination, social, social media, stay, stay up, staying
Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

0

1 month ago

annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, empty, empty seat, everyone, except, full, good, good morning, morning, next, people, right, room, seat, seats, sit, whole
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

0

1 month ago

eating, every, food, good, humor, i, joke, positivity, situation, try, typo, wait
Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

0

1 month ago

clothing, fashion, good, humor, panty, ruin, style, sundress
Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

0

1 month ago

bot, communication, days, good, humor, memory, message, messaging, nostalgia, old, person, remember, technology, wonder
(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

0

1 month ago

coping, depressed, depression, doing, emotional, emotional state, ever, good, guy, health, humor, mental, mental health, met, mood, most, pretty, self-deprecation, state
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

0

1 month ago

allowed, communication, control, etiquette, good, humor, keep, library, need, noise, noise control, number, people, places, public, public space, silence, social, social etiquette, space, start, talk, talking, where, working
When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

0

1 month ago

assume, block, confidence, good, humor, i, jawline, just, killer, looks, me, media, people, personality, rugged, rugged look, social, social media

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All funny good quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

17 shares on Threads this month:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

52 shares on Slack this month:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

85 shares on X this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Trending via Discord:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Just landed via YouTube:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Going bananas on Threads:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Activity Log ✨

377 Funny good quotes

More funny good quotes 👇

All funny good quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨