Commentary:
When even my phone wants to chat about viruses instead of playing the video 🤦♂️😂📱🔍
107 Funny got quotes
We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to make some billionaire jam! 🥄😜🍇
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?
Commentary:
Getting that spark back hits different! 🔥✨ Depression: 0, Me: 1! 😎✌️
I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.
Commentary:
Dropping diss tracks at work: making audits lyrical and office beefs chart-toppers! 🎤😄 #WatchOutDebbie
Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.
Commentary:
When happiness holds you hostage, even alarms wave white flags! 😂⏰🏡
I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.
Commentary:
Guess I'll just have to settle for being a fiscally conservative dreamer 💸🤔✨
I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.
Commentary:
Glow up goals achieved: from a caterpillar comedian to a hot butterfly! 🐛➡️🦋😂
Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.
Commentary:
Guess those wallets got a secret grandkid upgrade! 🍔💸👵👴
I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.
Commentary:
Looks like I could use a GPS with the Force to navigate rush hour! 😂🚦✨
Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
Commentary:
The ultimate cold workout: ice cube dodgeball! 🧊🏃♂️😂