23 Funny hands quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

  Commentary:
  Oh, the horror! 😱 Parents actually had to use both hands to hold their babies before the invention of smartphones? Must've been a real arm workout for them! 💪👶 #ParentingInprehistoricTimes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

  Commentary:
  "Whoops! Looks like someone forgot to check the family calendar before planning their secrets! 🗓️🤭 Maybe next time pick a less festive season for clandestine endeavors! #SecretFamilyProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

  Commentary:
  "Flies 🪰- nature's tiny villains, always up to no good! 🦟 They think they're so sly with their hand-rubbing tactics, but they can't outsmart a simple open window. 😂 Maybe they're just trying to start a fly uprising? 🤔 Watch out, world, the flies are coming for us!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

  Commentary:
  "Popcorn dilemma: Sharing hands or sharing popcorn? 🍿😄 Either way, make sure you know whose fingers you're reaching for in that buttery sea of snacks! #AwkwardMoments"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

  Commentary:
  "Words of wisdom: Don't bite hands, folks. Keep those pearly whites in check! 🤭🦷 #NoHandBiting"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like even ancient rulers couldn't resist the allure of a good water slide! 🌊👑 Just imagine the Pharaohs slipping and sliding their way into eternity, ready for a splash-tacular afterlife adventure! 💦 Who knew the pyramids were actually ancient water parks in disguise? 🏰🌈 #WaterslidesOfTheNile"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like handshakes are officially canceled in favor of royal greetings! 👑🤝 Better start practicing your bow or kneel down technique, folks! Who needs hand sanitizer when you've got regal manners? 😄🙇‍♂️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the mothership had such strict house rules? 👽🚀 At least those aliens have good hygiene standards! Maybe next time they'll abduct you for a playdate?! 🪐🌌"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

  Commentary:
  "Look at you, turning handshakes into a mysterious guessing game 🤔👖 Let the speculation begin: Was it a secret slime operation or simply a mid-meal snack? The world may never know! 🕵️‍♂️🍔 #SneakyHandshakeMoves"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

  Commentary:
  "Oops, wrong emoji, wrong timing! 🤦‍♂️ Remember folks, choose your emojis wisely, unless you want to turn condolences into a round of applause! 👏🏼😅"

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