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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Shared recently on Discord:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Trending via Snapchat:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Going viral on Facebook:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Going viral on Telegram:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Going viral on Messenger:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

3 weeks ago

anxiety, career, day, health, hitting, hour, hours, mental, mental health, random, random hour, stress, work, work worry, worry
Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

3 weeks ago

digestion, gastrointestinal, health, humor, problem, problems, sexual, spiritual
Overthinkaholic!

3 weeks ago

addiction, funny word, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, overthinking, personality, personality trait, trait, word
Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

3 weeks ago

being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain
Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

3 weeks ago

adult, being, bottle, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, health, humor, i, looking, medication, pill, pill bottle, responsibility, routine, spending, take, wondering
Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

3 weeks ago

form, growth, health, high, high school, media, mental, mental health, people, personal, personal growth, school, self-care, social, social media, unfollow
One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

3 weeks ago

excellent, head, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, point, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, voice, voices
When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

3 weeks ago

causing, choice, choices, diet, health, humor, lifestyle, mad, stomach, stomachache, sure, unhealthy, unhealthy lifestyle, upset, upset stomach
Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

3 weeks ago

50s, age, aging, ailment, condition, health, humor, medical, medical condition, middle, middle age, mysterious, mysterious ailment, welcome
If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

3 weeks ago

cactus, drink, drink water, health, hydration, reading, reminder, water

For even more funny health quotes, hit next 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Telegram this month:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

30 shares on Threads this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

20 shares on X this month:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

49 shares on X this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Making waves on Slack:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Spotted on Threads:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Going viral on Pinterest:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Live now on WeChat:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Activity Log ✨

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨