248 Funny house quotes

• I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

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  3 weeks ago

  absurdity, another, cautionary, cautionary tale, giant, horse, house, humor, i, irony, lesson, let, life, life lesson, mistake, mistakes, never, right, second, self-awareness, tale, wooden, wooden horse

• Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

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  3 weeks ago

  activity, creativity, example, fantasy, fun, fun activity, game, games, great, house, job, let, Sims, simulation, The Sims, try, video, video game

• I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

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  3 weeks ago

  animal, animal behavior, anything, behavior, carefree, cat, confusion, front, frustration, house, house cat, humor, i, me, shit, simplicity, slap, understand, want

• Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

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  3 weeks ago

  chaos, children, cleaning, house, humor, north, North Pole, parenting, pole, shoveling, snow, struggle

• I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

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  3 weeks ago

  cleanliness, family, house, humor, i, kicking, kids, parenting, spotless, struggle, want, wrong

• The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

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  3 weeks ago

  Airbnb, clean, fun, house, humor, rental, someone, thing, travel, vacation

• I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, date, dating, dating advice, first date, house, humor, i, pay, payment, person, relationship, should, think

• People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

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  3 weeks ago

  around, bathroom, design, frosted, frosted glass, glass, glass house, home, home design, house, humor, live, people, privacy, should, toilet, transparency

• Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

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  3 weeks ago

  childhood, contact, having, hobby, house, humor, introvert, isolation, leaving, people, punishment, social

• I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

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  3 weeks ago

  bowl, cleaning, comfort, cream, distraction, guilty, guilty pleasure, hate, house, housework, i, ice, ice cream, lap, opera, pleasure, soap, soap opera, unexpected

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