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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Seen just now on Discord:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Making waves on X:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Trending via Threads:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Trending via Pinterest:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

105 Funny imagine quotes

More funny imagine quotes 👇

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

3 weeks ago

being, fish, fishing, food, guy, humor, hunger, hungry, imagine, irony, lesson, needs, survival, teach
Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

3 weeks ago

attitude, day, humor, i, ignore, ignore someone, imagine, life, lifetime, resilience, rest, ruin, sarcasm, someone, trying
Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

3 weeks ago

animals, being, funny situation, giraffe, humor, imagination, imagine, nausea, situation, throw, throw up
Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

3 weeks ago

apples, being, charge, humor, imagine, irony, knowledge, snake, still, temptation, trust, wisdom
Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

3 weeks ago

19s, 19S Plus Pro, China, Covid, humor, imagine, joke, pandemic, plus, pro, satire, survival
Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

3 weeks ago

adult, adult industry, collar, corporate, corporate office, developer, humor, imagine, industry, job, office, office job, Pornhub, weird, weird job, whatever, white, white collar, working, workplace, workplace humor
Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

3 weeks ago

again, alone, awkward, awkward moment, bowling, funny situation, humor, imagine, moment, self entertainment, sit, situation, turn, yourself
Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

3 weeks ago

animal, animal behavior, away, behavior, car, comparison, crazy, day, found, funny comparison, gas, gas station, got, having, horse, humor, imagine, later, life, medieval, medieval times, modern, modern life, ran, run, runaway, runaway horse, scared, station, times, transportation
Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

3 weeks ago

awkward, communication, doing, humor, imagine, me, misunderstanding, relationship, sex, wrong
Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

3 weeks ago

discover, discovery, entertainment, even, humor, imagine, movie, Netflix, parent, parents, surprise

For even more funny imagine quotes, hit next 👇

All funny imagine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on X this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

22 shares on Slack this month:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

26 shares on X this month:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

56 shares on Slack this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

30 shares on X this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Trending via Messenger:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Going bananas on Threads:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Going bananas on TikTok:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Live now on Snapchat:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Shared recently on Slack:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Activity Log ✨

105 Funny imagine quotes

More funny imagine quotes 👇

All funny imagine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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