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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,893

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Seen just now on X:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Trending via X:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Spotted on TikTok:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Home » Funny Improvement Quotes

14 Funny improvement quotes

Funny improvement quotes 😂✨ are the perfect way to boost your mood while leveling up your life! Whether you’re tackling goals or just trying to adult better, a little humor makes progress way more enjoyable. Get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even procrastinate less—because who says self-improvement can’t come with a side of giggles? 🚀😎 #GlowUpWithGiggles

New funny improvement quotes 👇

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

0

1 week ago

effort, humor, i, improvement, luck, motivation, practice, skill, success
I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

0

3 weeks ago

after, doom, doom scroll, humor, i, improve, improvement, life, little, media, procrastination, scroll, self, self-improvement, social, social media, yes
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

0

1 month ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

0

2 months ago

always, hard, hard way, humor, improvement, learning, lesson, lessons, life, life lesson, mistake, move, self, self-improvement, signature, signature move
It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

0

2 months ago

better, casual, casual tone, else, except, growth, humor, improvement, lol, motivation, nothing, personal, personal growth, self, self-improvement, tone, version, yourself
They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

0

2 months ago

change, huge, humor, improvement, instant, instant payoff, invent, lifestyle, lifestyle change, motivation, payoff, self, self-improvement, should, small, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

0

2 months ago

ancient, better, Chinese, Chinese philosopher, following, fuk, Fuk Yu, humor, i, improvement, joke, life, life improvement, much, philosopher, philosophy, wisdom, yu
You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, beauty, confidence, glow, glow-up, grow, hotter, humor, improvement, maturity, self, self-improvement
They should invent a type of situation that improves.

0

2 months ago

humor, improvement, invention, life, optimism, should, situation, type
American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

0

2 months ago

American, American culture, cooking, culture, feng, Feng Shui, grill, home, home improvement, humor, improvement, outdoor, outdoor cooking, shui, wobble

For even more funny improvement quotes, hit next 👇

All funny improvement quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on X this month:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

54 shares on Slack this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,060

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Shared recently on Threads:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Breaking via Messenger:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Spreading quickly via X:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Going viral on X:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

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