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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Going viral on X:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Live now on Threads:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Making waves on Reddit:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Going viral on Telegram:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Trending via Facebook:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

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Funny landlord quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Seen just now on Threads:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Going viral on Reddit:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Trending via Twitch:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Shared recently on Reddit:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

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