76 Funny live quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between desire and existential dread! 🙈🔥 Who needs a will to live when you've got a drive that refuses to quit? 😂💃 Embrace the chaos and zest for life in your own special way! 🎉🔥 #LivingLaVidaLoca"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

  Commentary:
  "Living near the coast sounds like a dream! Just casually strolling on the beach on a Tuesday? Must be nice 😒🏖️ If only my nearest 'coastal area' wasn't a three-hour drive to a muddy river. Oh, the envy is real! 😂 #BeachGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out for those alligators…they've got a long memory and an even longer lifespan! 🐊💯 Better be on your best behavior or they just might outlast you and see you later! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

  Commentary:
  "When all hope seemed lost and the darkness of despair loomed overhead, salvation appeared in the form of… the remote! 🙌 Who knew a small piece of plastic could hold so much power and bring such joy to a seemingly ruined life? 😂 #DramaOverRemoteFound"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, bless you and your loud sneezes that echo across the hemisphere like a symphony of nasal fanfare! 🤧🌍 Looks like you've got the globe covered with your sneeze game – world domination, one achoo at a time! 😂"

  Fun Fact or Trivia:
  Did you know that the average person's sneeze travels at a speed of about 100 miles per hour? 🤧💨

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

  Commentary:
  "Oh no, imagine embarking on a wild gummy bear hunt! 🍬🐻 Who knew grocery store aisles were their natural habitat? Better sharpen those skills with a candy safari guide! 🤣 #WildGummyBearChase"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

  Commentary:
  Well, looks like the key to longevity might involve eating that extra slice of cake 🍰 and tuning out the unsolicited opinions of certain individuals 🤷‍♂️. Remember, nothing beats the power of a confident woman with a healthy appetite! 🙌 #LongLiveTheOverweightLadies

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

  Commentary:
  "Lesson learned the hard way: a coffee stain on a white sweater is not a fashion statement, no matter how hard you try ☕️🚗 #DrivingDisasters"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the perfect recipe for a long-lasting relationship: one part indifference, one part sarcasm, and a sprinkle of existential crisis. 🤷‍♂️💔 Who can resist such a compelling offer? Let's start a sitcom called 'The Apathetic Duo' and see where this complete disinterest takes us! 😂🏠"

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