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34 Funny mouth quotes

Trending Funny Mouth Quotes 🔥

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.
My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.
If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.
Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.
If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

New funny mouth quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Commentary:
"With my track record, I'd need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬"
1 month ago
Share →: My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Commentary:
"Speed talking: because who needs survival instincts when you have wit? 😂👄💨"
1 month ago
Share →: Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Commentary:
😂 "So true! It's like living with a furry surveillance buddy who's always one sniff away from being banned on a plane! 🐶👀💩🔍"
3 months ago
Share →: If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sound of silence! It seems opinions are like bad breath – best kept to oneself. Unless you've got a mint, of course."
4 months ago
Share →: Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Commentary:
"Coconut water: the drink that makes you question if you accidentally sipped someone else's backwash 🤢🥥 #NotSoRefreshing"
5 months ago
Share →: Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Commentary:
"Next time you're at the dentist, just tell them you're there for a thorough exploration of their mouth too! 🦷😂 Who knows, maybe they'll offer you a chair and a bib to get started! 😆"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of the rogue send button striking again! 🙊💥 Who needs a pause button for those impulsive thoughts, right? 🤣 #ThinkBeforeYouClick"
5 months ago
Share →: Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Commentary:
Haha, that would certainly explain the name! 🤔😂 Just imagine the moment of realization when someone made that connection – "Oh, so that's why they're called cough drops!" 🤣 Who knew our coughing fits could lead to such floor-dropping discoveries! 😆 #MindBlown #CoughDropConundrum
5 months ago
Share →: Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Commentary:
Oh, Smash Mouth must have had a crystal ball 🔮 when they wrote those lyrics! Time keeps flying by faster than a squirrel in a race 🏃‍♂️. Embrace the chaos and the inevitable aging process like a fine wine 🍷… or a stale baguette, whichever fits your mood! Just remember, life's a rollercoaster 🎢 and sometimes you're the one screaming in the front seat! 💫
5 months ago
Share →: Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Commentary:
"Seriously, is there a broccoli convention going on in there or something? 🥦🪴🤔 #BroccoliOverload #BonsaiVsMouthStruggle"