48 Funny mouth quotes

• My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

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  57 minutes ago

  faster, humor, instinct, mouth, moves, sarcasm, self-deprecating, survival, survival instinct

• Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

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  1 hour ago

  90, animal, animal behavior, around, behavior, companionship, daily, daily life, dog, following, humor, life, living, living with pet, mouth, owner, pet, pet owner, watching, wondering

• If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

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  1 day ago

  advice, humor, life, mouth, opinion, sarcasm, self-expression

• Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

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  2 days ago

  beverage, coconut, drink, humor, mouth, opinion, someone, taste, water

• Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

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  2 days ago

  curiosity, dental, dentist, explore, humor, i, joke, mouth, too, why

• Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

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  2 days ago

  before, brain, chance, communication, humor, mistake, mouth, send, sometimes, stop, technology, texting

• Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

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  2 days ago

  cough, drop, drops, floor, hard, humor, joke, mouth, observation, think, wordplay

• Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

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  2 days ago

  coming, humor, life, mouth, music, nostalgia, right, smash, Smash Mouth, start, stop, time, year’s

• Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

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  3 days ago

  bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying

• If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

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  3 days ago

  cougher, flight, flight delay, hold, humor, joke, mouth, open, open mouth, plane, travel, waiting

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