Funny quotes mouth

31 Funny mouth quotes

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Funny Quotes Feb 16, 2025

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025