259 Funny much quotes

• We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

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  2 months ago

  access, beliefs, communication, humor, internet, media, much, never, opinions, social, social media, stupid, thoughts

• Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

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  2 months ago

  always, convenience, efficiency, fear, free, humor, much, people, quick, retail, scared, self-checkout, shopping, something, technology

• If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

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  2 months ago

  confidence, humor, less, much, relationship, too, too much

• There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

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  2 months ago

  comparison, dining, else, enough, everyone, excess, food, humor, mashed, mashed potato, much, nowhere, portion, portion size, posh, potato, restaurant, size, too

• How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

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  2 months ago

  before, chocolate, diet, food, humor, indulgence, much, question, salad, too

• I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

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  2 months ago

  back, cut, cut back, humor, i, irony, much, self-awareness, sense, trying

• Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

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  2 months ago

  being, big, career, comedian, comedy, comedy career, dark, dark comedy, entertainment, failure, hit, humor, killer, much, Netflix, own, podcast, popping, serial, serial killer, special, spend, success

• I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

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  2 months ago

  friends, humor, i, know, much, need, new, old, relationships, social, too, too much, trust

• I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

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  2 months ago

  chores, feel, fine, frustration, honesty, household, humor, i, just, know, left, let, lie, machine, me, much, need, never, time, understand, washing, washing machine

• The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

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  2 months ago

  always, amount, budgeting, confusion, finance, found, humor, i, knowing, money, much, should, thing, tricky, wealth

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