259 Funny much quotes

• I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

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  2 months ago

  actually, affection, compliment, flirting, humor, i, ID, learn, much, number, phone, phone number

• The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

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  2 months ago

  anxiety, day, day terror, fear, half, humor, me, much, night, night terror, nightmare, sarcasm, scare, terror, terrors

• You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

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  2 months ago

  being, communication, engagement, humor, insult, media, much, social, social media, tried

• An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  2 months ago

  asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well

• I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

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  2 months ago

  ever, eye, four, humor, joke, letter, letters, much, tiger, wordplay

• I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

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  2 months ago

  bring, chatter, communication, conversation, friendship, fun, i, love, me, much, socializing, talkative, talking, together, yapping

• I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

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  2 months ago

  accidentally, anxiety, done, enough, ethic, humor, i, motivation, much, procrastination, productivity, relaxation, relaxed, stress, stuff, too, work, work ethic

• Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

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  2 months ago

  habit, humor, i, man, much, paper, paper towel, spending, spending habit, towel, unfortunately, wealth

• My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

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  2 months ago

  advice, always, anything, communication, conversation, conversationalist, humor, me, mother, much, nice, nothing, say, silence, told, witty

• If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

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  2 months ago

  attitude, boundary, clearance, confidence, dating, humor, independence, less, much, personality, relationship, running, sale, self-worth, too

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