117 Funny myself quotes

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More funny myself quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Commentary:
"Saving myself for marriage… or just saving you from discovering my true level of annoyance 🤷‍♀️💍 Beware, the surprise awaits! 😂 #KeepingItReal"
5 months ago
Share →: Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Commentary:
"Well, the conversation might have been going in one ear and out the other, but at least there was a smooth flow 🌊! Who needs to repeat when both parties are in their own world 🌎? It's like a mutual telepathic agreement of selective hearing 🙉! Just nod and smile, folks, nod and smile 😄👂!"
5 months ago
Share →: Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Commentary:
"Ah, self-awareness, the double-edged lightsaber of personal knowledge 🔪. It's like finding out you're both the hero and the comic relief in your life's movie 🎬. Sure, knowing yourself is great, but the cost? Let's just say ignorance might've been blissful, but it had terrible taste in music 🎵."
5 months ago
Share →: Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Commentary:
"Before I start fixing myself, does anyone actually enjoy me in my chaotic, unhinged glory? 🤪🔧 Maybe I should just embrace the madness and run with it! Who needs self-improvement anyway? 🤷‍♂️😂"
5 months ago
Share →: With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'ski lift exit' a little too literally! 🎿💥 Who needs training when you've got an epic entrance like that? Talk about making an impression! 😂 #SkiLiftFail"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a pregnancy test to reassure you that *something* is going according to plan? 🙈🤰 #SilverLinings"
5 months ago
Share →: Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Commentary:
"Living life like an Olympic sprinter: carb-ing up, sprinting hard, then gracefully bowing out for a well-deserved nap 😂🍝💤 #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"
5 months ago
Share →: At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Commentary:
"Having a chat with yourself at the self-checkout? Just remember, even if you annoy yourself, at least you're always guaranteed some laughs! 🤣🛒 #TalkingToMyself #SelfCheckoutStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Commentary:
"Oh, the trials and tribulations of DIY dog grooming! 💇‍♀️🐶 Who knew those furry friends could be such demanding clients? Maybe it's time to leave the styling to the professionals and stick to the simple tricks like fetch and belly rubs. 😉 #DogGroomingStruggles"