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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Going bananas on WeChat:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Just shared via Threads:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Just shared via Reddit:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Spotted on Twitch:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Trending via Reddit:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Home » Funny Offer Quotes

13 Funny offer quotes

Funny offer quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 😄 to those tempting deals and irresistible sales! Whether you’re shopping 🛍️ or promoting a special discount 🎉, a clever twist of words can make offers unforgettable and super shareable. Ready to laugh your way to a bargain? Let’s dive into some witty vibes that turn any deal into a smile-worthy moment! 😎✨

New funny offer quotes 👇

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

0

2 months ago

cake, desire, food, humor, i, offer, relationship, say, secret, temptation, want
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

0

2 months ago

amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly
Internet strangers offer the best advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, humor, internet, media, offer, online, social, social media, strangers
Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, buy, discount, free, humor, irony, joke, marketing, offer, promotion, sales, save, special, special offer
I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone
Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

0

2 months ago

awkwardnes, food, hope, humor, offer, relationship, secret, social, someone, want
I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

0

2 months ago

bad, humor, i, irony, much, offer, self-deprecation, still
Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

1

2 months ago

better, bus, humor, irony, offer, people, room, sitting, standing, standing room
Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

0

2 months ago

again, ask, cravings, desire, ever, food, humor, i, me, mean, meaning, offer, say, snack, time
I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

0

2 months ago

bad, honesty, humor, i, lot, offer, self-deprecation, still

For even more funny offer quotes, hit next 👇

All funny offer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on TikTok this month:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

59 shares on X this month:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

96 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Fries, not lies.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Weddings should have a worst man.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,743

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Just landed via WeChat:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Just shared via Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Seen just now on Discord:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Just shared via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Just shared via YouTube:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Freshly posted on Discord:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

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