Funny pill quotes

• I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

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  2 months ago

  battery, caddy, commit, context, gun, humor, i, know, never, pill, reload, remote, things, violence

• If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

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  2 months ago

  balcony, care, gardening, humor, i, much, need, pill, plants, relationship, responsibility

• I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

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  2 months ago

  cooky, diet, diet pill, eat, eating, food, help, humor, i, loss, nervous, pill, push, push down, stick, struggle, throat, weight, weight loss

• Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

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  2 months ago

  bulletproof, bulletproof vest, gun, humor, logic, men, pill, relationship, responsibility, sense, shoot, should, take, vest

• I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

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  2 months ago

  cabinet, humor, i, insomnia, joke, medicine, medicine cabinet, pill, silence, sleeping, sleeping pill, tiptoe, wake, want

• Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

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  2 months ago

  am, counter, dancing, happy, humming, humor, i, little, meds, nutcase, pill, pill counter, routine, self-care, weekly, weekly routine

• Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

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  3 months ago

  being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain

• Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

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  3 months ago

  adult, being, bottle, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, health, humor, i, looking, medication, pill, pill bottle, responsibility, routine, spending, take, wondering

• If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

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  5 months ago

  delay, humor, ID, joke, laziness, pill, procrastination, take, tomorrow

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