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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Just landed via WeChat:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Making waves on Reddit:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Just landed via Discord:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Spotted on Discord:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Just landed via Telegram:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Trending via Discord:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

11 Funny prime quotes

Funny prime quotes 💥 are the perfect mix of math and humor 🤓➕🤣. Whether you’re a number nerd or just love clever wordplay, these witty takes on prime numbers will have you laughing and thinking at the same time 🧠😂. Get ready to prime your day with some numerical laughs and share the fun with your fellow math lovers! 🔢🎉

New funny prime quotes 👇

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

2 weeks ago

50, care, choose, encroachment, give, humor, menstruation, pad, period, personal, personal care, prime, still, underwear
I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

2 weeks ago

childhood, commando, family, give, hear, humor, i, know, memory, mom, parent, prime, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, siblings, speechless, young, youth
Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

1 month ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video
I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

2 months ago

die, evolve, humor, i, life, motivation, prime
Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

2 months ago

diva, divisibility, divisible, humor, insult, joke, math, math joke, number, number theory, numbers, okay, only, playful, playful insult, prime, prime number, theory, yourself
“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

2 months ago

Amazon, Amazon Prime, American, culture, entertainment, humor, ignore, media, name, original, parody, pop, pop culture, Pope, prime, satire, series, sery, sounds, wordplay
With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

2 months ago

anxiety, chill, date, entertainment, humor, me, Netflix, panic, prime, streaming
Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

2 months ago

example, humor, left, media, most, prime, social, social media, supervision, Twitter, unsupervised, us, why
I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

2 months ago

Amazon, browser, browser plugin, drink, drinking, hashtag, humor, i, moderation, need, online, online shopping, plugin, prime, self-control, shopping
I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

2 months ago

age, am, decay, humor, i, life, old, perspective, prime, wit

For even more funny prime quotes, hit next 👇

All funny prime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

43 shares on X this month:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Just shared via Slack:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Live now on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Just shared via X:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Going viral on Slack:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Making waves on TikTok:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Seen just now on Slack:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

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