The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem. Posted on9 hours ago
Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem. Posted on10 hours ago
If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is. Posted on11 hours ago
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot. Posted on17 hours ago
If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem. Posted on22 hours ago
Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem. Posted on1 day ago
If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.” Posted on1 day ago
My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem. Posted on1 day ago
Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s. Posted on2 days ago
The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home. Posted on2 days ago
The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment. Posted on2 days ago
If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!” Posted on2 days ago
We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position. Posted on2 days ago
To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods. Posted on3 days ago
Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer. Posted on3 days ago
They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy. Posted on3 days ago
The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do. Posted on4 days ago
It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem. Posted on5 days ago
My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me. Posted on5 days ago