101 Funny read quotes

• Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

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  2 months ago

  apology, communication, humor, i, just, left, mean, message, open, procrastination, read, sorry, text

• Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

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  2 months ago

  commandment, humor, interaction, just, neighbor, read, religion, rules, shit, ten, time

• I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

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  2 months ago

  appearing, books, humor, i, inform, irony, knowledge, read, regret, secret, well-read

• Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

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  2 months ago

  humor, irony, poet, poetry, read, reading, thinking, torture

• Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

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  2 months ago

  12, activity, again, book, dumb, entertainment, hours, humor, i, myself, point, procrastination, read, screen, screen time, think, time

• Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

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  2 months ago

  best, body, dark, dark humor, dead, dead body, hide, humor, internet, later, new, new tab, place, pretty, procrastination, read, read later, sure, tab

• My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

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  2 months ago

  beautiful, coffee, coffee mug, gift, humor, interpretation, me, mom, much, mug, own, read, sarcasm, self-acceptance, too, trying

• I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

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  2 months ago

  baby, belly, bigger, diagnosis, expectation, humor, i, imaginary, inside, joke, pregnancy, read, surprise

• A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

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  2 months ago

  character, humor, interaction, personality, read, reliability, service

• Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

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  2 months ago

  brain, ever, having, humor, just, little, magnificently, read, reconcile, something, space, stare, stupid

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