1528 Funny relationship quotes

• People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

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  2 weeks ago

  always, commitment, commitment issue, dating, distant, emotionally, emotionally distant, eye, fish, got, humor, issue, issues, people, relationship, salmon, say, sea, specific

• My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

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  2 weeks ago

  absence, absent, dad, family, humor, identity, presence, present, relationship, secret, thing, third

• I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

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  2 weeks ago

  18th, 18th century, casual, century, devotion, eternal, fall, i, love, relationship, vampire

• Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

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  2 weeks ago

  bad, bad day, day, end, humor, marriage, relationship, spouse, work

• Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

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  2 weeks ago

  breakup, divorce, free, humor, joke, level, library, little, putting, relationship, scrapbook, unprecedented, wedding

• If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

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  2 weeks ago

  allegation, allegations, best, best friend, bestfriending, dating, enough, friend, friendship, hard, humor, relationship

• Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

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  2 weeks ago

  around, comfort, comfortable, humor, just, learned, man, phone, psychology, relationship, sleep, through, trust, wants

• I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

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  2 weeks ago

  annoyance, annoyed, compatibility, cringe, dating, humor, humorous, i, interest, just, relationship, same, shared, shared interest, someone, things, want

• Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

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  2 weeks ago

  affection, babe, communication, humor, humor quote, moved, mysterious, mystery, okay, playful, relationship, romance, ways

• Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

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  2 weeks ago

  ask, awkward, blocked, comedy, couch, courage, humor, i, imagine, me, playful, quirky, rejection, relationship, under, unexpected, why

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