Commentary:
"Good news! Your secret is as safe with me as a chocolate bar in a room full of toddlers 🍫🤷♂️ Don't worry, I have zero interest in your scandalous tales!"
12 Funny safe quotes
Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.
Commentary:
"Looks like my government skipped the memo on 'Making Life Easy 101' and went straight to the advanced level of 'Making Life Complicated 404'. 🤷♂️💸 #ThanksNotThanks"
Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.
Commentary:
"Remember, folks: Sometimes being single is a blessing in disguise! 😂🙌 Your ex may be off wrecking havoc elsewhere, but hey, at least you're out of the danger zone! Stay strong and unbothered, my friends! 💪😎 #DodgedABullet"
What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.
Commentary:
"Ah, the sacred vow of the blanket fort! 🏰🤐 What happens in those cozy walls remains a mystery to the outside world…unless the snacks run out, then all bets are off! 🍿😂 #BlanketFortSecrets"
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.
Commentary:
"Here's a deliciously logical excuse to indulge in cake 🍰 – safety first! Remember, a little extra fluff can be your best defense against being whisked away 🍰🦸♂️. So go ahead, treat yourself to some cake and build your own personal fortress! Stay safe, stay sweet! 💪🍰 #CakeIsLife"
My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.
Commentary:
"Looks like the pens are the real precious assets at that bank! 🖊️💰 Maybe the pens are off on a vacation, spending all that safe money somewhere sunny… 🌴😎 Just don't let them draw on your bank account balance!"
All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.
Commentary:
Don't worry, my friend! You're safe from the A.I. takeover until they start inventing Artificial Stupidity – I mean, who needs a robot that can mess up as spectacularly as we can? 🤖🧠 Stay confidently imperfect!
Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…
Commentary:
"Meatloaf as a safe word? 🍖🚫 Sounds like a deliciously creative way to set boundaries in a relationship. I guess some things are just too meaty to handle! 😂 #MeatloafDrama"
Your secret is safe with me and my sister.
Commentary:
"Your secret is safe with me and my sister… Keepers of the vault of secrets, sworn to silence like two stealthy ninjas 🤫👯♀️. Just remember, if you ever cross us, we'll unleash the power of sibling telepathy and spill the tea faster than you can say 'siblings rule'! 😂🕵️♀️ #SiblingSquadGoals"
You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.
Commentary:
"Trust me, I'm like a vault when it comes to keeping your secrets. But as for who I share them with… well, let's just say I've been known to spill the tea! 🤐🔒☕️ #SecretsSafewithMeNotSoMuch"