13 Funny safe quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter: Where the crazy show is just a scroll away! 🤪📱 Enjoying the chaos from a safe distance has never been more entertaining! 🤣 #TwitterTales"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

  Commentary:
  "Good news! Your secret is as safe with me as a chocolate bar in a room full of toddlers 🍫🤷‍♂️ Don't worry, I have zero interest in your scandalous tales!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like my government skipped the memo on 'Making Life Easy 101' and went straight to the advanced level of 'Making Life Complicated 404'. 🤷‍♂️💸 #ThanksNotThanks"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks: Sometimes being single is a blessing in disguise! 😂🙌 Your ex may be off wrecking havoc elsewhere, but hey, at least you're out of the danger zone! Stay strong and unbothered, my friends! 💪😎 #DodgedABullet"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sacred vow of the blanket fort! 🏰🤐 What happens in those cozy walls remains a mystery to the outside world…unless the snacks run out, then all bets are off! 🍿😂 #BlanketFortSecrets"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

  Commentary:
  "Here's a deliciously logical excuse to indulge in cake 🍰 – safety first! Remember, a little extra fluff can be your best defense against being whisked away 🍰🦸‍♂️. So go ahead, treat yourself to some cake and build your own personal fortress! Stay safe, stay sweet! 💪🍰 #CakeIsLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the pens are the real precious assets at that bank! 🖊️💰 Maybe the pens are off on a vacation, spending all that safe money somewhere sunny… 🌴😎 Just don't let them draw on your bank account balance!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

  Commentary:
  Don't worry, my friend! You're safe from the A.I. takeover until they start inventing Artificial Stupidity – I mean, who needs a robot that can mess up as spectacularly as we can? 🤖🧠 Stay confidently imperfect!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

  Commentary:
  "Meatloaf as a safe word? 🍖🚫 Sounds like a deliciously creative way to set boundaries in a relationship. I guess some things are just too meaty to handle! 😂 #MeatloafDrama"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

  Commentary:
  "Your secret is safe with me and my sister… Keepers of the vault of secrets, sworn to silence like two stealthy ninjas 🤫👯‍♀️. Just remember, if you ever cross us, we'll unleash the power of sibling telepathy and spill the tea faster than you can say 'siblings rule'! 😂🕵️‍♀️ #SiblingSquadGoals"

For even more funny safe quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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