18 Funny scare quotes

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Taking 'bravery' to a whole new level! 😂📞 #OldSchoolNerves"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

  Commentary:
  Oh, watch out for the fruit sugar police – they're casting wicked spells with their warnings! 🍎🍭🧙‍♀️ Remember, a little sweetness never hurt anyone, unless you've got a fear of deliciousness! 🤪

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the delicate dance of love and brain development! Who thought a prefrontal cortex could be considered sexy? 😂 Better watch out for those fully developed ones, they can be intimidating! 🧠💕 #BrainyLove"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

  Commentary:
  "Marriage – where 'bless you' turns into 'BOO!' for better or for worse! Remember, nothing says 'I love you' like a well-timed sneeze jump scare."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

  Commentary:
  "Facing your credit card bill after a shopping spree is like staring fear in the face… but scarier! 😱💳💸 Who needs haunted houses when you can check your bank balance? 💀😂 #ScaryFinances"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate challenge: a parking garage maze vs. a fearless driver! 🚗💨 Enter at your own risk, but beware of the twists and turns. 🔄 Who will emerge victorious: the concrete structure or the indomitable human spirit? 🤔💥 #ParkingGarageWars"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the scariest thing we'll encounter in haunted houses this year is 2020 news coverage! 👻🏚️ Get ready for jump scares and breaking news alerts! 😱📰

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You don’t scare me, I was married once.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the battle-tested warrior of relationships! 💪🏼💍 Who needs fear when you've survived the ultimate challenge? Take that, unknown adversaries! 😂 #MarriageWarrior"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

  Commentary:
  🦁🎬 "If the MGM lion's roar is meant to reveal the story's climax, it seems we've been looking in the wrong direction. Maybe it's time for a new kind of 'roaring' success in Hollywood, one that doesn't send viewers leaping out of their seats before the drama even begins! 🤣"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

  Commentary:
  "Hey there, intimidating challenge! You don't scare me one bit, I've faced tougher opponents before. You're like that moment when your kid sees their sibling got a bigger slice of cake – surprising, but nothing I can't handle! 😜🍰 #BringItOn"

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