Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Making waves on YouTube:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

Spotted on Pinterest:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Just landed via Discord:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Just landed via Messenger:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Freshly posted on X:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Trending via WeChat:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

43 Funny smart quotes

Funny smart quotes 🤓😂 are the perfect blend of wit and wisdom, tickling your brain while making you chuckle. These clever one-liners pack a punch with their sharp humor and insightful observations, offering a fresh perspective on life’s quirks. Whether you’re looking to impress your friends or just need a quick laugh, these nuggets of brilliance are sure to entertain and enlighten 😄💡. Dive into a world where intelligence meets hilarity and let the giggles begin! 🎉

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

98 shares on Threads this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

43 shares on Slack this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

34 shares on X this month:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Going viral on Facebook:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Going viral on TikTok:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Trending via Snapchat:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Just shared via X:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Just landed via WeChat:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

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