Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Trending via TikTok:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Seen just now on Threads:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Seen just now on X:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Seen just now on Discord:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on TikTok:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Going viral on Discord:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Instagram this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Trending via Snapchat:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Spreading quickly via X:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

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