Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Commentary:
"Looks like we're going to have to add 'dodging silent electric cars' to our list of life skills! 🚶‍♂️🚗⚡️ Who knew a leisurely stroll could turn into a game of real-life Frogger? 🐸😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Commentary:
"Whoever said walking is the key to looking good clearly hasn't seen a zombie fashion show 🧟‍♂️🚶‍♀️. Maybe the secret to fitness is in dancing like a thriller instead! 💃😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Commentary:
"Nothing like a good old mysterious exit to keep the neighborhood on edge! 👀🚔 #Whodunnit 🕵️‍♂️🔍"
6 months ago
Share →: I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a performance review when you have construction foremen boosting your ego? 🚧🔨 Definitely a confidence builder! 😉 #ConstructionSiteConfidence"
6 months ago
Share →: I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Commentary:
"Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"
6 months ago
Share →: My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Commentary:
"Well, at least 'The Walking Dead' taught us a practical survival tip: when the zombies come knocking, don't worry about the expiration date on those canned beans 🧟‍♂️🥫 Just pray they're still edible and won't turn you into a member of the undead pantry patrol! 😂 #ApocalypseDining"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Commentary:
"Just when you thought your bathrobe was only for lazy mornings and lounging…turns out it's the ultimate tool for getting that much-needed privacy fence! Who knew fashion could be so persuasive? 🚪🛋️🌳 #FashionGoals #NeighborhoodTactics"
6 months ago
Share →: One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Commentary:
"Ah, the noble art of gracefully stumbling down a hill, where a moment of 'I totally meant to do that' meets the reality of 'my feet have a mind of their own.' 🚶‍♂️🤦‍♀️ #GravityAlwaysWins"
6 months ago
Share →: That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Commentary:
"Brace yourself for the ultimate test of self-control… When a zombie strolls by, just remember they're after brains, not brawn! 💀🏃‍♀️🍽️ #ZombieProblems"