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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,934

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Broadcasted on X:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Making waves on X:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Just landed via Twitch:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Spotted on Threads:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Going viral on Facebook:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Home » Funny Wealth Quotes » Page 5

82 Funny wealth quotes

More funny wealth quotes 👇

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

0

1 month ago

habit, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, much, paper, paper towel, self-deprecation, towel, unfortunately, wealth, woman
When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

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1 month ago

bag, bags, bathroom, grocery, grocery bag, humble, humor, i, irony, rich, stay, trash, trash bag, wealth
My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

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1 month ago

alone, body, desire, dollars, fantasy, humor, leaving, me, million, money, naked, sexual, someone, throwing, wealth
Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

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1 month ago

ever, finance, goodbye, humor, irony, mine, money, spending, wealth
I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

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2 months ago

cooking, family, food, generational, great, humor, i, inheritance, recipe, sauce, spaghetti, tradition, wealth
I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

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2 months ago

3, bad, craving, desire, dollars, humor, i, joke, know, million, money, pregnant, wealth
Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

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2 months ago

good, health, humor, Ka-Ching, mental, mental health, money, saying, sign, signs, therapist, therapy, wealth
The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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2 months ago

body, comparison, dead, dead body, difference, garage, humor, i, joke, Lamborghini, possessions, wealth
The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

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2 months ago

always, amount, budgeting, confusion, finance, found, humor, i, knowing, money, much, should, thing, tricky, wealth
If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

0

2 months ago

bigger, clean, cleaning, couch, humor, ID, lifestyle, luxury, lying, man, marriage, married, right, rooms, sarcasm, wealth

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

94 shares on Discord this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Going viral on YouTube:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Going viral on Discord:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Activity Log ✨

82 Funny wealth quotes

More funny wealth quotes 👇

All funny wealth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨