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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,030

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Just landed via Facebook:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Spotted on Threads:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Just landed via Slack:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Live now on Twitch:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Going viral on Telegram:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Just landed via Telegram:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Trending via Messenger:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

115 Funny weird quotes

More funny weird quotes 👇

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

0

2 months ago

anything, around, attraction, confidence, distraction, flirtation, grocery, grocery store, hot, humor, i, men, reach, self-awareness, store, weird
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

0

2 months ago

acting, acting weird, circumstances, day, due, humor, humorist, i, quirky, today, unexpected, unforeseen, unforeseen circumstances, weird
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

0

2 months ago

behavior, early, flight, going, humor, irony, late, late night, mood, naturally, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, room, schedule, self-deprecating, sleep, sleep schedule, stay, tomorrow, tonight, weird, weird behavior
Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

0

2 months ago

cookie, craving, diet, feeling, food, food joke, humor, joke, snack, weird
Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

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2 months ago

attitude, beauty, confidence, count, empowerment, energy, girls, humor, ignore, independence, mindset, positivity, pretty, self-care, self-love, sit, weird
Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

0

2 months ago

act, apology, awkwardness, backfire, day, hard, humor, i, mishap, normal, self-awareness, social, social mishap, sorry, trying, trying to act normal, weird
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

0

2 months ago

awkward, childhood, confidence, ever, freak, girl, grow, humor, i, ID, little, quirky, self-identity, weird
What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, humor, intimacy, kill, life, relationships, resilience, weird
They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

0

2 months ago

asking, awkward, awkward situation, comedy, crying, firearms, gun, gun store, humor, interaction, real, situation, social, social interaction, store, walk, weird, weirdness
Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

0

2 months ago

awkward, embarrassment, funny situation, gender, gender reveal, humor, naked, only, party, reveal, situation, weird

For even more funny weird quotes, hit next 👇

All funny weird quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

91 shares on X this month:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Going viral on Instagram:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Spotted on Reddit:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just shared via TikTok:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Activity Log ✨

115 Funny weird quotes

More funny weird quotes 👇

All funny weird quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨