114 Funny wife quotes

• When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

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  2 months ago

  ask, asking, communication, excuse, humor, husband, just, let, marriage, me, procrastination, relationship, using, whatever, wife

• Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

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  2 months ago

  argument, ask, back, communication, humor, lawn, marriage, middle, mowing, relationship, silence, silent, tip, wife

• Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

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  2 months ago

  20, anniversary, ChatGPT, creative, digital, effort, gift, humor, me, minutes, note, perfect, relationship, romantic, sarcasm, spent, tech, tell, training, try, wife

• Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

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  2 months ago

  acting, cause, exist, extraterrestrial, girl, here, humor, humorous, humorous observation, husband, jealousy, observation, relationship, social, social humor, wife

• My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

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  2 months ago

  again, cabinets, eat, eating, food, household, humor, joke, kitchen, marriage, never, rearrange, rearranged, wife

• Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

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  2 months ago

  humor, humorist, illegal, joke, media, posts, relationship, sarcasm, serious, seriousness, silliness, silly, social, social media, talk, wife

• I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

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  2 months ago

  daily, daily life, determination, drive, driveway, family, flipping, humor, i, life, patience, perseverance, pull, radio, radio station, relationship, station, stations, still, through, wife, wish

• Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

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  2 months ago

  brag, compliment, cooking, dinner, humor, humor quote, i, interesting, just, kitchen, marriage, relationship, sarcasm, wife

• Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

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  2 months ago

  addiction, divorce, divorce joke, focus, humor, joke, marriage, porn, porn addiction, relationship, wife

• Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

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  2 months ago

  ask, before, breakfast, celebration, day, family, fun, humor, joke, letting, little, longer, morning, mother’s, Mother’s Day, sleep, wake, wife

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