Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Trending via Messenger:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Live now on X:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life lesson: 'sure' is just 'nope' in disguise 🤷‍♂️🚫😅"

agreement, communication, decision, half, humor, i, mistake, problem, problems, regret, said, saying, saying yes, sure, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

0

5 months ago

ago, animal, animals, better, cat, cat owner, easily, failure, food, giving, holy, humor, i, judge, just, organ, organ failure, owner, pet, pets, shit, starve, stubborn, taste, time, too, used, weeks, whim
Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

0

2 months ago

100%, 100% rice, cake, change, else, food, food humor, frustration, gaslighting, humor, name, name change, petition, rice, rice cake, snack, something, tired
Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

0

2 months ago

break, break the ice, elevator, hugging, humor, ice, interaction, social, social interaction, strangers, tension
I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

0

2 months ago

advice, bossy, confidence, doing, exactly, humor, i, just, know, leadership
Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

0

3 months ago

adult, being, bottle, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, health, humor, i, looking, medication, pill, pill bottle, responsibility, routine, spending, take, wondering
Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

0

2 months ago

family, home, house, humor, parents, password, technology, welcome, where, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

98 shares on X this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

22 shares on X this month:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Spotted on Telegram:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Going viral on Slack:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Seen just now on Threads:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Just shared via Slack:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Trending via Pinterest:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨