Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Just landed via Discord:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Seen just now on Slack:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Breaking via Slack:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Breaking via Twitch:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Spotted on Facebook:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs therapy when you've got a circle of friends and pizza nights 🍕😂 #FriendshipGoals

every, friend, friends, friendship, hang, hangout, healing, humor, know, little, me, support, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

0

2 months ago

communication, deleted, deleted message, drama, media, message, needs, notification, social, social media, texting, unnecessary, WhatsApp
Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

0

2 months ago

circle, clever, dating, flirting, humor, humorous, humorous remark, i, joke, over, playful, remark, sarcasm, teasing, witty
No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

0

2 months ago

dance, feet, fun, humor, joke, life, pressure, shoot
The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

0

2 months ago

2, acting, alcohol, allowed, drink, drinks, humor, i, island, just, limitation, love, Love Island, night, only, over, reality, reality show, sarcasm, show, thing
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

0

4 months ago

deserve, humor, i, irony, relaxation, self-awareness, still, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel, vacation, while
Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

0

2 months ago

beauty, getting, humor, irony, self-care, skincare, tan, tanning, teeth, teeth whitening, whitening

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

18 shares on X this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Going viral on Discord:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Going bananas on X:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Freshly posted on Slack:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Making waves on Telegram:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨