Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Going bananas on Instagram:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Trending via TikTok:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's payday for freedom and romance! 💸💃😂

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

2 months ago

behavior, comedy, ever, folding, foot, humor, mouth, noticed, observation, open, social, social behavior, step, trash, trash can
Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

2 months ago

baby, baby name, carrying, humor, insane, insanity, month, months, name, naming, nine, nine month, parenthood, pregnancy
The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

2 months ago

chocolate, craving, food, humor, i, indulgence, minute, next, only, problem, snack, sweetness
Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

2 months ago

agreement, commitment, confusion, expectation, good, humor, lot, me, meeting, realization, response, saying, sounds, workplace
When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

4 months ago

bad, career, choice, dream, dreams, follow, going, humor, job, job market, life, life choice, market, motivation, unemployment
Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

1 month ago

after, artist, bartender, city, concert, flirt, humor, interaction, liked, most, show, social, social interaction, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

67 shares on Slack this month:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

11 shares on Messenger this month:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Spotted on TikTok:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Making waves on Twitch:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Just shared via Threads:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Breaking via YouTube:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨