Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just landed via Facebook:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Trending via Messenger:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Just shared via Twitch:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Trending via Facebook:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That healing hit harder than my cat's accidental zoomies! 🐾😅

accident, accidentally, am, anyone, healing, humor, i, me, much, oops, relationship, too, uninterested

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

2 months ago

drive, driving, everyone, faster, house, humor, little, music, politics, president, rap, techno
What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

2 months ago

affection, communication, confusion, greeting, humor, love
The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

2 months ago

cinema, entertainment, escape, favorite, forget, hours, literally, movie, relaxation, vibe, world
You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

2 months ago

anything, early, fun, humor, humor quote, meeting, motivation, office, office humor, person, procrastination, productivity, sarcasm, workplace
Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

2 months ago

able, animal, animal behavior, behavior, being, chill, everyone, humor, parrot, talk, talking, whole, why
They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

2 months ago

buy, desire, experiment, give, happiness, humor, irony, just, let, lot, me, money, myself, perspective, say, someone, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

26 shares on Slack this month:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I only drink when I people.

21 shares on X this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Breaking via Slack:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Live now on Twitch:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Trending via Twitch:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Just landed via Messenger:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Spotted on WeChat:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨