Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Making waves on Instagram:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Live now on Slack:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Just shared via Snapchat:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Spotted on Slack:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

More funny quotes 👇

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

5 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke
I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

0

5 months ago

advice, deodorant, humor, hygiene, i, know, life, situation, still, tough, tough situation, wear
“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

0

5 months ago

commentary, feel, humor, normalize, once, sarcasm, shame, social, social commentary
Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

0

5 months ago

being, city, different, else, expense, expensive, family, humor, kid, kids, parenting, price, price tag, put, tag, travel, ungrateful, vacation
Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

0

5 months ago

give, humor, plot, plot twist, sign, twist, universe, waiting
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

0

5 months ago

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry
Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

0

5 months ago

cheeky, fishnet, humor, little, orange, oranges, playful, ripping, slutty
Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

0

5 months ago

artist, artists, band, big, calling, fan, humor, last, music, name, nickname
No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

0

5 months ago

affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

0

5 months ago

challenge, escape, escape room, game, good, humor, just, luck, mental, mental game, mind, room, thought, thoughts

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

16 shares on WeChat this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Just landed via TikTok:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Live now on Threads:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Just landed via Facebook:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨