Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Just landed via Reddit:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Freshly posted on X:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

More funny quotes 👇

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

0

5 months ago

better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

0

5 months ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

0

5 months ago

birthday, birthday wish, born, buying, celebration, gift, humor, i, myself, nice, personal, personal treat, self-care, shopping, something, today, treat, wish
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

5 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

0

5 months ago

courage, fear, humor, mindset, nothing, once, positivity, situation
I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

0

5 months ago

attraction, boyfriend, Funny, hot, humor, i, know, stranger, strangers, want
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

0

5 months ago

else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works
I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

0

5 months ago

active, avoidance, humor, mindset, peace, procrastination, relaxation, self-care, through
I drive like I’m immortal.

0

5 months ago

drive, driving, humor, i, immortality, reckless, reckless driving
You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

0

5 months ago

anything, early, humor, leadership, management, meeting, meetings, motivation, person, productivity, time, time management, work

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

12 shares on X this month:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

35 shares on X this month:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

43 shares on Slack this month:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Live now on Threads:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Trending via Instagram:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨