Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,809

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Seen just now on Discord:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Making waves on Facebook:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Broadcasted on X:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Making waves on X:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Trending via Reddit:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

More funny quotes 👇

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

0

7 days ago

choice, confidence, humor, luck, me, outcome, things, unfortunately, work
Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

0

7 days ago

ask, client, clients, hard, health, humor, mental, mental health, obsession, over, people, picture, pictures, psychology, struggle, therapist
The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

0

7 days ago

AI, jobs, less, smarter, wants
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

0

7 days ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon
Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

0

7 days ago

AI, chatbot, design, every, funny observation, graphic, graphic design, humor, logo, observation, tech, tech humor, why
What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

0

7 days ago

90s, 90s movie, Christmas, Christmas party, corporate, corporate party, culture, exist, holiday, holiday party, huge, movie, nostalgia, office, office culture, party, seems
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

0

7 days ago

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks
Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

0

7 days ago

dating, easily, humor, i, joke, meet, meet up, men, plan, relationship, sacrifice, too, want, warning
Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

0

7 days ago

baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay
Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

0

7 days ago

5, book, bro, humor, irony, last, obsession, read, reading, storytelling, tech, tech bro

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on X this month:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Going viral on Snapchat:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Trending via WeChat:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Breaking via TikTok:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Spotted on Reddit:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Just shared via Instagram:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Shared recently on Slack:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨