Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Breaking via Threads:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Just shared via Facebook:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Making waves on TikTok:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Trending via Reddit:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

More funny quotes 👇

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

0

7 days ago

elder, game, gaming, generation, nostalgia, reverence, video, video game, Wii, Zoomer
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

0

7 days ago

activity, communication, conversation, enjoy, enjoyment, getting, having, humor, i, listening, passive, passive activity, podcast
Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

0

7 days ago

access, bad, bad music, driver, drivers, ever, humor, joke, music, music taste, ride, ride share, secret, service, share, streaming, streaming service, taste, Uber, Uber driver, worst
I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

0

7 days ago

90, American, Americans, conversion, day, dramatic, dramatics, found, humor, i, just, kilogram, measurement, pound, weight
(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

0

7 days ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking
Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

0

7 days ago

boss, boss-in-law, humor, joke, relationship, wife, wordplay, workplace
Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

0

7 days ago

always, anywhere, around, driving, guys, humor, joke, mad, Mad Max, max, post-apocalyptic, travel, why
Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

0

7 days ago

game, games, getting, girlfriend, humor, life, once, pandemic, quitting, real, relationship, social, social life, video, video game
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

0

7 days ago

clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

7 days ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Live now on Discord:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Shared recently on X:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Trending via Slack:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Live now on Twitch:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨