Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Going viral on Discord:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Spotted on Slack:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Breaking via X:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nailed it. Could have gone with "hoppy boingers," but "frogs" works. 🐸🤣

animal, frog, got, humor, joke, naming, right, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

0

2 days ago

act, conversation, exaggeration, humor, i, intermission, joke, long story, say, short, story, storytelling, theater
Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight
There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

0

2 months ago

arrangement, best, dog, dogs, family, five, friend, friends, humor, lifestyle, literally, living, living arrangement, mansion, marriage, married, normalize, rule, start, ten
Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

0

1 week ago

burger, Burger King, childhood, childhood nostalgia, disappearance, disappearing, fast, fast food, food, forest, going, Grinch, Grinch meal, humor, king, McDonald’s, meal, nostalgia, Spongebob, Spongebob meal, twenty
This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

0

2 months ago

being, commentary, decent, decent human, existential, existential humor, history, horrible, horrible time, human, humor, irony, social, social commentary, time
Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

0

2 months ago

comparison, concrete, dandelion, head, humor, i, life, morning, nature, resilience, struggle, sweater

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

92 shares on Reddit this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Making waves on Messenger:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Spotted on WeChat:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Just landed via X:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨