Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Trending via Discord:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Just shared via Discord:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Just landed via Discord:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Going bananas on Discord:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nailed it. Could have gone with "hoppy boingers," but "frogs" works. 🐸🤣

animal, frog, got, humor, joke, naming, right, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

0

2 months ago

around, calory, count, diet, eating, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, lifestyle
Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

0

3 months ago

1900s, 25, 25 year old, age, age gap, conversation, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, me, old, patience, patient, please, year
In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

0

2 months ago

American, bible, eve, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, McRib, religious, religious joke, satire
Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

0

2 months ago

confusion, dry, headache, humor, idea, nap, refreshed, relaxed, rest, sleep, throat, wake, year
If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

0

2 months ago

8K, activity, bowl, bring, fun, fun activity, gathering, humor, invitation, over, place, super, Super Bowl, TV, wants, watch
First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, date, death, died, fun, fun activity, ghost, graveyard, guess, humor, idea, people, playful, playful idea, spooky, unconventional, unconventional date, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Trending via Slack:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Making waves on Slack:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Breaking via Reddit:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Trending via Slack:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Live now on Snapchat:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨