Author Archives: slickboy

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

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When you know your step count is already too low, so you turn shopping into a full cardio session 😅🛒👟

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

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Guess I'll have to make some space in the closet for my dreams of a man cave 😂🏠

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

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Who knew the ultimate bedtime boss battle would be a tiny human in pajamas? 😂🛌🎉

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

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"Guess I need to find a cute pet for my new profile pic! 🐶🌸😹"

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

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Mom's house: the original Amazon Prime, but with more cookies! 🍪📦😄

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

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Why earn while you work when you can thrive through chaotic calls? 📞😅 #WorkFromHomeAntihero

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

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Looks like the scale's grounded until it learns some manners! 🚫⚖️😆

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

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Sounds like it's time for a three-course cardboard meal! 🥊📦😄

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

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Taking "Silent Night" to new levels since 1829 😂🎄👮‍♂️📡

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

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This explains why the kids keep dropping hints that Santa needs a GPS upgrade! 🎅🗺️😄