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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Seen just now on Slack:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Shared recently on WeChat:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Trending via Telegram:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Going viral on Twitch:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

61 Funny anger quotes

More funny anger quotes 👇

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

1 week ago

anger, anyone, fast, fast food, food, food order, frustration, humor, i, order, over, personality, reaction, trust
Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

1 week ago

anger, angry, bait, before, frustration, humor, i, me, mood, rage, rage bait, reaction, read, works
If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

1 week ago

anger, clean, cleaning, cleaning motivation, everyone, family, frustration, hours, house, humor, i, just, know, motivation, yell
You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

1 week ago

aging, anger, car, frustration, getting, getting old, house, humor, know, mad, neighborhood, old, outside, parked, parking, random
Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

1 week ago

anger, control, emotion, emotion management, frustration, job, management, work, workplace
They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

1 week ago

anger, emotion, frustration, healing, mad, sarcasm, say, still, time
My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

1 week ago

aging, almost, anger, angry, bitter, bitterness, complete, humor, old, old woman, sarcasm, transformation, woman
I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

1 week ago

anger, annoyance, breathing, daily, daily routine, frustration, got, hate, humor, i, know, list, lot, mad, me, routine, sarcasm, sigh, someone, something, yesterday
Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

1 week ago

allowed, anger, day, days, difficult, difficult day, frustration, humor, i, myself, patience, people, remind, reminder, self-control, today, where
Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

1 week ago

anger, better, cleaning, frustration, humor, motivation, nobody, pissed, somebody

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Discord this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

71 shares on Threads this month:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Just shared via Twitch:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Seen just now on Threads:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Making waves on Facebook:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Activity Log ✨

61 Funny anger quotes

More funny anger quotes 👇

All funny anger quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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