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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Broadcasted on X:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Making waves on Reddit:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Making waves on Threads:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Trending via TikTok:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Threads this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Your opinions are not my business.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

80 shares on X this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Seen just now on X:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Going bananas on Threads:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Just shared via WeChat:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Making waves on Slack:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Going viral on X:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Just shared via YouTube:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

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