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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Just landed via Telegram:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Just landed via Discord:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Live now on Reddit:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Just landed via Slack:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Live now on Slack:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

93 shares on Discord this month:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Cool times create cool guys.

69 shares on Threads this month:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,839

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Going viral on Reddit:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Live now on YouTube:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Just shared via Threads:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Seen just now on Threads:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Going viral on WeChat:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Just shared via Twitch:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

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