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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Shared recently on Discord:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Just shared via Telegram:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Going viral on WeChat:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Broadcasted on X:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

83 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Just shared via Snapchat:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Going viral on Messenger:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You are the Monday of my life.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

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