Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so Iโ€™m no longer tempted to eat them.

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so Iโ€™m no longer tempted to eat them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic holiday strategy: eliminate temptation by devouring all evidence of it! 🍪🎅 Who needs willpower when you have an appetite for cookies? 😂 #NewYearNewDiet"

Santa: "Donโ€™t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey."

Santa: “Donโ€™t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Commentary:
Looks like Santa is trading his milk and cookies for something a bit stronger this year! 🎅🥃 Who knew St. Nick was into the hard stuff? Maybe that's the real secret behind his jolly demeanor! 😄🍪

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey, the undisputed queen of Christmas 🎄👑 It's the time of the year where we all come together to worship her iconic holiday tunes and hit those high notes while attempting to decorate our trees with half the glam she brings to the stage 🎶✨ Bow down to the diva of the season, for her music is the true miracle that embodies the spirit of Christmas! 🎅🎶

I'll be home for Christmas, because that's where I live.

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Commentary:
"Breaking news – local resident announces bold holiday plans to 'be home for Christmas' 🎄🏠 Turns out, it's the ONLY logical destination for some festive cheer! Who would've thought? 🤷‍♂️ #ObviousChoice #HomeSweetHome"

When I say Iโ€™m Christmas shopping the โ€œfor myselfโ€ is silent.

When I say Iโ€™m Christmas shopping the โ€œfor myselfโ€ is silent.

Commentary:
Oh, that familiar holiday shopping experience 🛍️🎄 Who can resist treating themselves during the season of giving? 💁‍♀️ After all, it's important to spread the Christmas cheer… both to others and ourselves! 🎁✨ #SelfGiftGoals

โ€œSanta isnโ€™t real!โ€ Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

โ€œSanta isnโ€™t real!โ€ Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like someone's got some explaining to do! 🎅🏼👀 Who knew Santa had a twin wandering around the mall causing chaos and confusion? 🤷🏻‍♂️ Always expect the unexpected during the holiday season, folks! 🎄😂

Christmas is coming and youโ€™re not.

Christmas is coming and youโ€™re not.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa might need to make a detour to deliver a sense of humor this year! 🎅🏼🙊 But hey, who needs Christmas when you've got puns like this all year round, am I right? 🎄😂

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Commentary:
"Ah, the Christmas tree – the eternal symbol of holiday cheer and existential crisis all rolled into one! 🎄✨ Just remember, even if you're feeling a bit like a withered old pine inside, you can always put on a dazzling light show for the world to see. Shine on, you festive gem! 💫"

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day struggle of counting down to Christmas not with sweet treats, but with closed work tabs! 🎄💻 Who knew our digital lives could serve as a quirky advent calendar alternative? Just make sure not to accidentally close the wrong tab and lose all that hard-earned progress! 😅 #TechSavvyCelebrations"

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask โ€œis it in yet?โ€

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask โ€œis it in yet?โ€

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's sleigh was hit with budget cuts this year! 😂💸 Hopefully, that Christmas bonus is just fashionably late like a gift arriving after New Year's. Keep your eggnog close and your bank balance closer! 🎅🌲